A list of feel-good, self-love affirmations that can get you in the right frame of mind before a date. Get yourself ready to have fun and let go, you are amazing, you are a gift.

The harsh truth is that dating is tough. When it comes to the ritual of dating, I often find it to be repetitive, disappointing, and uncomfortable. Other times I let my hopes (and wine) get the best of me; I end up getting too excited after a good date but never hear from them again.

This year alone I’ve probably gone on around 30+ dates. Still, I find myself swiping right or lingering around Whole Foods and bookstores hoping for a romantic run-in. Dating gets exhausting, and it’s easy to get discouraged - especially after a particularly bad date or after receiving another wedding invitation without a plus one.

After all this time, I have not given up. Why? Because I know I’m only a date away from meeting my soulmate. I’m just a kiss away from falling in love again. I’m just a funny story, sad story, or ridiculous story away from the only story that’s going to matter in the end.

So, I keep trying. I keep obsessing over outfits, doing and redoing my hair, over analyzing the amount of makeup I apply and texting my friends’ hopeful sentiments. I keep trying because - somewhere out there - the guy I’m meant to be with is trying too. If both of us stop, or even one of us, we’ll never find our way to each other.

I’m partially doing this for him, but more importantly, I’m doing this for myself. Through all the small talk, awkward goodbyes, late-night cocktails, and flirty banter, I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve become more confident and self-assured. I know what I’m looking for and I don’t shy away from being picky with my time. I’m not afraid of being alone, but I am afraid of being lonely.

I’ll admit that sometimes dating can feel lonely. I go in hoping for a deeper connection, something above the information that’s already on my Hinge profile, and drinks that turn into dinner. That doesn’t always happen, but then sometimes it does. In the end, I’d rather go home a hundred more nights alone, then go home with the wrong person.

So I put out the energy I hope to receive into the universe. I’ll set an intention before yoga to be kinder to myself, so I don’t fall apart from disappointment. I’ll carry rose quartz to invite love into my life. I’ll meditate so I can practice getting better at being present. I’ll live my life with purpose, so I will have more stories to share. I raise my vibration so that goodness will find me naturally.

As for other rituals, I start most dates the same. I will blast dance music on Spotify, have a glass of wine, shimmy around my bedroom floor in fuzzy socks, and pretend I’m fearless until I start to believe it. I wait until the very end when my heels are on, and my purse is packed to put on my lipstick. Then I look at myself in the entryway mirror, just like I do for work, and tell myself one of these affirmations.

10 Self-Love Affirmations

I am deserving of a heart-pounding, soul-expanding, breath-limiting kind of love.

I am beautiful both inside and out.

I am full of amazing stories and ready to make some more.

I am confident in what my heart desires.

I am open to listening to new ideas and perspectives.

I am a catch that the right guy will never let go.

I am so ready for love and the adventure it brings.

I am always moving forward and one step closer to my destiny.

I am already complete and brimming with good energy.

I am really, really killing it in this outfit.

I say it, and it feels weird, but it helps. It’s crucial that I remind myself that I’m whole before I go into the date, and I’m merely looking for a holy-shit-kind-of kiss. This practice makes me more grateful on this search for love and helps minimize disappointment if it tries to pop its ugly head into my consciousness. I do this because I’m sure that love isn’t very far.

Eventually, I’ll go on my last first date. Eventually, I’ll have my last first kiss. Eventually, we’ll find each other. Until then, I am me, and I am complete regardless of the direction the next date goes. Because while dating is hard, I know that falling in love is easy.