I had the pleasure of reading Let Loose and Buy Yourself All the Flowers by Elizabeth Sochko at ManRepeller. The post really spoke to me and it triggered the following memory.
About a year ago I was on my monthly trip to spend my entire paycheck at Target, and one of the items on my list was roses. I love roses. I love their smell. I love their rich colors, and I love how they add a pop of color to my home. When I remember to, I absolutely make sure my home has roses.
On this particular trip to Target, I got into the checkout lane - with a cart full of items that were not on my list. I placed my roses on the conveyor belt and the cashier - an emphatic young woman - was delighted to see my roses and remarked on how beautiful they were. Then she asked me who they were for. I told her they were for me. She paused, scanned them, and said, "well that's sad." Her remark didn't have a condescending tone. It seemed genuine and harmless.
I failed to process her comment in that moment and continued silently watching my items scan one by one. The silence was cut short by her unprompted admission that she too loved roses. I mean, of course she did. Yet, she never had any because her boyfriend never bought them for her. While swiping my credit card, I replied, "Well you'll just have to buy them for yourself then." My suggestion was quickly put to rest by her. It wasn't until my drive home that I mulled over her comment repeatedly "well that's sad....well that's sad..."
You know what? It didn't feel sad to me. What made it sad? That I didn't have someone to buy them for me? Were roses only appropriate in the form of a gift? The math didn't add up for me. There were two young women. One of them was in a relationship. One of them wasn't. Both of them loved roses. Yet, only one of them ever got any.
I buy myself roses because I love them. If that's sad, then to me it's the most beautiful and fragrant sadness there is. I try to step-up for myself and do the things that others cannot or will not do. As Elizabeth pointed out, we are the generation of "treat yo'self." It's an unbridled act of making yourself happy first. I make myself happy, and whether it's buying a simple bouquet of roses or a solo trip, I do so unapologetically. Imagine how horrified she would have been to learn I take myself out to dinner and movies too.