The holidays are different for all of us. Some people go home, some people stay put, some people go all out, and some people choose to ignore the hustle and bustle. Either way, in some way the holidays tend to get stressful for a variety of reasons.
For me, it’s the time of the year that I’m often asked a series of questions by friends or family that threaten to obliterate my confidence. You know the questions I’m talking about; they’re ones like:
“Are you seeing anyone?”
“How’s your job?”
“What’s New York City like?”
While questions like the above are harmless in essence and should be easy to answer, they’re not. After likely a year of not seeing these people, I’m often plagued with how honestly to answer these questions.
Am I seeing anyone right now? No, but back in March, I was and then again in September. I also went on this crazy date with a warlock and also had a fling with a spin instructor. Most of the year though, I’ve been alone, and I've spent it learning how to be happy with my own company.
Do I really want to get into that though? Does anyone really expect anything more than an “I’m doing good, how are Marsha and the kids?” type of response? Does anyone actually want to know that three months ago I was ready to leave New York forever, pack my bags, and move to Europe on a whim?
It makes me wonder about the purpose of the holidays. Is this where we should let go of all our baggage and make our struggles less taboo? Or is that just too burdensome to everyone involved? Should we focus less on how we’ve been and more on how we are right now?
What I’d like to offer, and what I’ll try myself, is making this time of year more about being present and reframing the present. So what if the year was more of a journey than a list of successes? So what if I still have about as much of an idea of what I want to do with my life as I did this time last year?
What matters is that most of us use this limited time together with the people we love to reconnect, be in the moment, and stop using it as a moment to guilt yourself into presenting or comparing your life’s resume.
Regardless of whether you’re with your friends, your family, your awkward in-laws, or your cat and your Netflix, let’s make the holidays are celebrating being alive right now and not about our checklist of accomplishments from the past year.
I am blissfully alive in this present moment without resistance.
I am not focused on what I’ve done and focused instead on what I am doing.
I am an embodiment of love and share that love with those around me.
I am not searching for anything because I’m exactly where I need to be right now.
I am open to genuine connection with the people that are close to me.
I am in charge of how I feel today, and I am choosing joy.
I am not comparing myself to anyone else because I am incomparable.
I am full of life and have created room in my heart to add more memories.
I am so proud of the person I am in this very moment.
I am worthy of this present moment, and I damn well will enjoy it.
Just writing these affirmations made me feel a bright spark in my heart and I found myself smiling by the end. I challenge you to take these affirmations with you outside of just the holidays because they can sincerely be so powerful.
Still unsure how to use them? It’s really up to you! For me, writing intentions down is the best way for me to connect them to my inner self. For others, saying them in front of the mirror might be the most powerful tool. Even merely thinking these affirmations – in repetition – can have magical effects on your psyche.
The real magic though is when you authentically believe in them. I am a believer, are you?