If you’re anything like me, sometimes you may wonder why you’re on dating sites and apps — is there a point to all the winks and seemingly endless swiping? And if so, what is it? You may have mediocre date after mediocre date, or many online or app messaging conversations that lead to no dates at all, even though some matches seemed to have potential. But then, you’ll hear a dating app success story, so before you go deleting your dating profiles and apps, you only start winking and swiping right even more.
If you need some dating app inspiration, 23-year-old Melissa Breyer of The Sister Wives Podcast is our “Online Dating Success Story of the Week.” She met her now-husband, Shawn, on Tinder after only a month on the app. I know — we hate love her, too! I’ve had boyfriends from Tinder, but a husband…?! Luckily, Melissa told us how it’s done.
How We Met
When I was 20, after my best friend had gone through a bad breakup, I joined her in downloading Tinder — we each grabbed a glass of wine and tried to find cute guys for her to date. The app was a much more convenient way to meet people, and sometimes it felt more like a game — every time I got a ‘match,’ it felt like an accomplishment! While on Tinder, I didn’t date anyone NOT from the app. I went on only one date during my one month on Tinder — and I’m married to the only Tinder date I ever went on!
Our First Date
As you probably know if you’re a Tinder user, you can see how close — or far — fellow users are to you. When Shawn and I matched, he was not even living in the same state. At the time, he was living in Atlanta, GA, but he just happened to be home one weekend in Cookeville, TN when we actually matched. Our first date was me driving to Georgia to go to the Georgia Aquarium. Afterwards, we went Goodwill shopping and then had dinner with his great uncle (Shawn was living with him at the time).
When I first downloaded Tinder, there was a flood of pick-up lines, queries about one-night stands, and guys that seemed to have absolutely zero personality. Matches couldn’t hold up a conversation, and I wasn’t going to deal with that — I love talking to people, so that was a red flag for me. However, Shawn was completely different: He started the conversation with several questions about where I was from, pictures from my Tinder profile, what I studied at school, etc. He genuinely seemed interested in ME and not just how I looked.
When I Knew Shawn Was “The One”
This is going to sound so cliché, but I knew Shawn was “The One” on our first date. At the aquarium, I remember him crawling on his hands and knees behind me at the penguin exhibit. There’s a section where you can get a closer look, and I think it’s mostly for kids to crawl in there, but I HAD to do it because penguins are my favorite animal, and I was thinking, ‘Wow, I think this is it…”
Why Everyone Should “Swipe Right”
I think dating apps are convenient, especially for people who are typically shy or have a hard time meeting people at “normal” social settings, i.e., a bar, a party, etc. Online/app dating helped me sift through people I never would have had any interest in without going through countless terrible first dates.
Plus, online dating can be much quicker than dating in real life. Since people have to make an “about me” section in their profiles, it’s a lot easier to tell if you and a certain person would get along in real life. Plus, you can “screen” people before you actually go out and meet them face-to-face. This is a benefit in multiple ways — you can make sure the person you’re talking to is a good fit, you can see what their intentions are, and you can feel out whether or not they’re dangerous.
Dating Advice Words Of Wisdom
Don’t settle. A lot of people on dating apps will be good-looking, but will already seem to not mesh well with you, and I always say don’t force it. If you already know going on a date with them will be like pulling teeth to have a conversation, don’t go just because the person is super attractive (unless that’s all you're looking for; then, by all means!). But the former is how I found someone I ended up getting married to: I was picky initially on who I would even go on a date with. So, be picky, and don’t settle!
Is it just me, or do you feel inspired, too, after reading Melissa’s story on how she met her husband on Tinder?