I have a bit of an inside joke with my friends that I’m a Scorpio magnet. If it’s not Scorpio Suns that I’m attracting, then it’s folks with major planets in Scorpio like the Moon or Mars, as well as Scorpio Risings. I’m serious. All I need to do is breathe and there they are. And let me say for the record, that I love my Scorpio infused folks. But it wasn’t always that way.

See, I’ve dated some in the past and while there was a lot of passion and steam to go around, I ended up getting my heart broken. As a result, I used to get frustrated whenever a guy showed interest in me but turned out to have a ton of Scorpio in his birth chart. I even thought I was doing something wrong.

It wasn’t until I started digging deeper into my own chart, that I began to understand why I attract Scorpio energy so strongly. And, once I understood it, the knowledge I obtained from my chart helped me to make peace with it; so much so that I now openly welcome Scorpio influenced people into my life, romantically and otherwise.

As an astrologer, often the one thing that I get asked the most about is love and compatibility. Practicing astrology for as long as I have, I noticed that there’s a trend when it comes to attracting zodiac signs that push our buttons repeatedly. For some, it’s Libras that get under their skin. For others, it’s Virgos that keep showing up; and so on and so on.

Most people want to know why this keeps happening. They also want to know how to get it to stop. If you’re wondering why you keep attracting the same zodiac sign over and over again despite your best efforts, below are a few reasons why and what you can do about it.

1. They’re giving you something that you lack

So, as it turns out, Scorpios aren’t the only signs I attract like crazy. Actually, I attract all of the water signs (Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio) in abundance. A big reason for this is because my birth chart primarily consists of the elements of fire (Sagittarius, Leo) and air (Aquarius).

The element of water is weakest in my chart, which means that the people in my life bring the water to me. As a rule, we often attract people that contain the elements in their charts that we lack in our own. They help to balance us out and fuel our growth. And that brings me to the next point:

2. They’re teaching you a lesson you need to learn

Being a fire sign, like a Sagittarius, means that I’m passionate, outgoing, and generally upbeat. Though as a fire sign, I’ve also been known to be a bit selfish and insensitive too. Water signs on the other hand, tend to be more sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. They value deep emotional bonds.

Having water signs in my life has taught me the value of empathy and vulnerability while Scorpios in particular, have taught me how to be a bit more discerning with who I give my time and attention to. As a generous, freedom-loving fire sign; Sagittarians can sometimes be a little too open and carefree with our hearts; letting people into our lives that may not be worth the investment of our energy.

3. They’re helping you to love something about yourself

Astrology has taught me that one of the best ways to learn about ourselves is through our relationships to others. Relationships often act like mirrors, reflecting our positive and not so positive qualities back to us.

Oftentimes, if there’s a zodiac sign that pushes our buttons it’s probably because they’re showing us something about ourselves that we may not want to see. For example, if it’s Taurus’ that drive you mad, it may be because you need to examine where you’re too rigid or resistant to change in your own life or where you may be too compromising and in need of better boundaries.

Try thinking about what the repeating zodiac sign in your life represents and see where you may need to turn that energy up in your life (or turn it down). That zodiac sign’s energy is tied to something about us that you may feel some insecurity about. By learning to embrace or make peace with that zodiac sign, you’re learning to embrace yourself.