Marvel Universe To Introduce Villain Whose Main Ability Is Disgusting Chewing Sounds

 
 marvel villains
 

Some self-described MCU expert on Reddit claims to have seen meeting notes which indicate that a Marvel supervillain whose power is making disgusting chewing sounds is about to hit the big screen.

This ability may seem harmless but it’s actually an extremely effective tool used to disarm and render superheroes powerless just from the sound of loud chewing and other annoying noises and/or movements.

The character’s ability will join a list of other acoustikinesis abilities, but instead of manipulating sound waves, it’s bad table-manners.

Misophonia is a condition where certain sounds such as breathing, yawning, whistling, chewing, and repetitive motions like fidgeting, bumping, and wriggling can cause feelings of anxiety, disgust, anger, panic, fear, and other kinds of emotional distress.

Rumor has it that writers have been attempting to work Misophonia into scripts and back-stories for a while now as Misophonia is widely known to trigger those who suffer from it into doing things they would not normally do such as sharing classified secrets or causing their own selves bodily harm simply in order to get the noise or motion to stop.

It is unknown whether the character will be worked into the Hydra or Chitauri storyline, but one thing is clear, this new diabolical power in the hopes that it will bring their rivals to their knees without the use of force.

In times past, supervillains have used all kinds of devices to gather information from their enemies. But, gone are the days of infinity stones. Anything too elaborate smacks of ineptitude and is considered amateurish. To equip a supervillain with the ability to channel their gross eating habits into a torture device is brilliant.

Tony Stark may be a calculated genius, but someone slurping their soup would immobilize him and make him easily controllable.

Misophonia generally affects those with above-average intelligence and a high degree of creativity, so it’s not effective for torturing everyday citizens; therefore, ensuring a greater public safety.

The notes indicate that while it wasn’t the original intent to equip a supervillain with this ability, Joanne in the next cubicle slurping down her stewed cabbage lunches ignited the idea.

A closed MCU fan group is said to be over the moon with the new direction. “We hope to have at least a dozen more supervillains with the power to fell their enemies by making annoying movements or sounds by the year 2020,” said fan.

“Picture heroes like Black Panther, Gamora, or Antman being incapacitated into submission just by the sound of someone eating spaghetti,” chuckled the anonymous Redditor. “It’s beautiful in its simplicity. Still, balance is ever-important in the MCU universe. So, writers are also working day and night to come up with a way to counterbalance this new breed of villain. Hopefully, it won’t be long until they also introduce heroes who are immune to the revolting and stomach-turning sounds of food-consumption.

In addition to supervillains with the power to make truly disgusting sounds and irritating body-movements, writers are toying with the idea that supervillains incorporate words like moist, mucus, lover, and phlegm which are known to hated by anyone who hears them and can be used to incapacitate rivals when said out-loud.

“Doctor Strange is a stoic narcissist until you say the word "moist" then he becomes nearly incapable of summoning his critical thinking skills,” the Redditor chortled.

Satire Disclaimer: This piece is a work of satire and  I AM Media LLC accepts no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of this information – it is all made up and is not accurate. Come on, really, this is obviously not true. Don't sue us.