I Was Humbled on Bumble. Still, I Soldier On.
"Serious or casual," was a Bumble message I received at 6 a.m. Saturday morning from a guy named Jason, whom I thought might dispel my bleak outlook on dating apps. Since rejoining Bumble, Jason is the first guy I've come across who looks like someone I'd like to meet in person - cute, possibly active, and appears to have a dog.
Years ago, I was a fearless cyber dater. Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, you name it I was on it. I was the epitome of a D.G.A.F dater. My profile proudly stated, "I drive a shitty car and write about UFOs. COME AT ME, BRO." To me, dating was fun. So, what changed? Maybe it was moving to the middle of the country for a guy that ultimately decided he'd prefer a relationship with our dog? Perhaps it was not getting carded at Trader Joe's for my $10 bottle of Merlot, or it could be a creeping suspicion that we may not all be cut out for coupling up.
Before I depress you into oblivion, I'll preface that there is nothing I would love more than to believe a bearded guy who surfs and runs on the beach with a rescue dog and wears flannels with jeans that are potentially too tight ever to be a "boyfriend fit" does in fact exist. However, dating is tricky. Once I turned 30, I began feeling as though I were one laugh line away from my eggs shriveling up and becoming damned to the land of old shrews. So, when I received Jason's message, "Serious or casual" it got me thinking, what am I looking for and can it be found on something as seemingly trivial as an app?
I critiqued his profile, my profile, time of the message, consulted my sister. I have never intentionally sought a casual relationship, but to text back the word "serious" so definitively seemed so… well, serious.
I began typing a long-winded diatribe about how societally we are conditioned to believe in companionship, complete with an inventory of my romantic history and aspirations. Thankfully, I thought better of myself as he may just decide what I ultimately need is a therapist (equally plausible).
So, I responded to Jason, "Substance? A quality human interaction I guess. You?" Then I waited......and waited.
Hours went by with no response from Jason. Surely there must be a malfunction with the app. So, I closed it and reopened it and then realized that my chat with Jason had disappeared. Not only was Jason so bold as to ask such a blunt question (which I can appreciate) he also decided to UNMATCH me sans reply.
And so, I soldier on.