So, you’ve met a cute guy in class or work. You decide to get closer, and you hope that all the hints you’re sending him will get him to ask you out first. Weeks go by, and he still hasn’t asked for your number yet. Eventually, you realize it’s not working, and you might have to ask him instead. Just the thought of asking him for his number first makes you nervous.
There’s a chance that you’ve never had to initiate anything. Maybe you don’t know how to ask a guy for his number, or you’re afraid of rejection. The fear of being rejected is something that prevents people from getting what we want in life. People often try to avoid situations that will make them feel uncomfortable. Still, rejection is something that we will always encounter, no matter how hard we try to prevent it.
For some reason, we generate negative scenarios of how someone will react before expressing our feelings for them. Annie Cox founder and CEO of Apartner dating, suggests that this kind of behavior is “is counterproductive because it prevents you from bringing things into your life that you want, like a partner.”
It’s good to remember that there is nothing wrong with expressing your interest in someone. Do not get discouraged by the possibility of being rejected. Having a crush on someone doesn’t always have to be mind-boggling.
Everyone should be able to experience the exciting parts of dating without letting fear get in the way. No matter who you are, “fear of rejection is universal and gender-blind,” says Annie Cox. Men and women both fear the chances of being turned down. The man you find attractive may feel the same way and could be afraid to ask for your number.
From personal experience, I’ve learned that dating can be a little daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. I let my anxiety disrupt my chances of meeting new people. And I was constantly disappointed over only getting asked out by guys I did not find attractive. The issue was that I was waiting for the guys I was interested in to ask me out first instead of taking control over my dating life, and learning how to ask a guy for his number. And this was because I was afraid of being rejected.
I’ve learned that waiting for someone to notice me would never work. If I wanted full control over my dating life, I needed to take the initiative. Over the past few years, I’ve learned how to ask a guy for his number. The process is still nerve-wracking, but it’s worth it.
How To Ask A Guy For His Number
It may seem unnerving at first, but knowing how to ask a guy for his number will only help you gain control over your dating life.
Asses the Situation:
The best thing to do is to try to identify the status of your current relationship with the guy you’re interested in. If the two of you are in the middle of a conversation, you could always suggest talking outside your usual face-to-face communication. That way, you can get his number without flirting and chat with him outside of work or class.
If the two of you are talking through a dating app like Bumble or Tinder, the two of you have already identified that you’re not looking for a platonic relationship. Throwing in a few jokes, and try to flirt in your messages to see if how he’ll respond. If he flirts back, then you should ask for his number so you can talk outside of the app. If he doesn’t reciprocate, then it’s not worth asking him.
Make up an Excuse:
I have used this method multiple times, and it always works. This method is an indirect way to show that you’re interested in dating a guy, but it is one of the easiest ways. Here is how to ask a guy for his number if flirting isn’t your strong suit coming up with an excuse may be helpful.
If you happen to be classmates, you could always ask him to send you notes from class or set up a day to study together. Then there is still social media, try to ask him for his Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat first. Mention that you prefer texting more, and see if it would rather text you instead.
There is no doubt that you won’t be a little nervous before you ask a guy for his number. The best thing to do is to focus on the possibility of him wanting it to give it to you. If you perpetuate this idea that he’ll immediately reject you, then it will reflect in your body language and how you communicate.
Confident people know their self-worth and have high self-esteem. “People find confidence attractive because it signals that the person with confidence has his/her life in order,” says Annie Cox. Handling the situation without making your anxiety peak through will make this conversation more comfortable.
Instead of finding an excuse to get his number, you can always be direct. If you ask him right away, you’ll get an immediate response, and it eliminates the overthinking process. You’ll no longer have to wonder if he is just as interested in or worry about his answer.
However, if his response ends up being ‘no,’ then you can move on to someone else you’re interested in. And if he turns you down try not to take it personally or restrain you from asking another guy for his number. If you never ask, you could be missing out on a chance of finding a new partner.