An Alleged Donut Addict Broke Into A Dunkin' Donuts And....Just Left.

 dunkin donuts

Sure, you may have heard the news about Dunkin' Donuts releasing donut fries nationwide. BUT, did you hear the weird news about the alleged donut addict that climbed through the drive-through window?

In May, a man was arrested after surveillance footage showed him breaking and entering the Methuen, Massachusetts Dunkin' Donuts after the store had closed. In the video, the man is seen walking up to the window, prying it open, and pushing himself through it. Once inside, the drive-thru-diver paused for a few seconds, then quickly clambered back out. As far as the police can tell, nothing was stolen, nor was there any damage to the inside of the store.

“We close at 10:00 p.m. and throw all our leftovers away,” said Tami, a Dunkin' Donut employee. “If he wanted free donuts, he should have just gone around back and done a dumpster dive—not breaking our drive-thru window. Kent, the manager is going to be wicked pissed if he has to fix it himself.”

The motives of the perpetrator are still unknown, but Dr. Ken Merrimon, LLC and Psychology, Consulting, & Evaluations, LLC., who practices in nearby Braintree, Mass., has his own theory. “I think he’s using his own kind of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help with a donut addiction,”

Was the assailant jonesing for an apple fritter, chocolate-frosted cake donut, or a bag of donut holes?

The question on the public’s mind is if someone has an unmanageable hunger for a donut, wouldn’t they just go to a 24-hour-donut shop? Upon further study of the tape, it shows that the suspect arrived at the Dunkin Donuts on foot, which causes speculation that he didn’t have access to a car, and therefore couldn’t make the trek to satiate his desire for a cruller or a jelly donut.

“We can usually tell when a donut-addict comes in here,” Tami admitted. “Their eyes are glazed over, their fingers stained various colors from melted sprinkles, and their sweat smells like powdered sugar.”

So, what does a donut-addict do when they are unable to satisfy their need for an old-fashioned or a Boston Krème?

“Let’s say, the suspect was trying to control his cravings,” Dr. Merrimon hypothesized. “Well, with CBT, we focus on solutions, and in doing that we encourage the patient to change their destructive patterns of behavior. Perhaps the suspect was doing his own kind of therapeutic method and had set limits for himself. He allowed himself to smell the donuts, go to where donuts could be had, but then denied himself the actual consuming of the donut. I’ve had my patients do similar things in my practice.”

Whatever the motives were for the Dunkie’s  Diver, they have yet to be revealed. However, if he was only trying to curb his cravings, then jail will be an excellent place for him to detox.

“We have never had anything like this happen,” Tami said. “The Dunkin slogan is ‘Something fresh is always brewin’ here,’ I just didn’t know that what was brewing was a new kind of  crime.” Tami thought for a moment and then said, “Sure, some skeezahs have tried to get a free beverage when it’s not their birthday, but no one has ever used  the drive-thru as a walk-up window, and broken in, that’s just wrong.”